Having seen quite a lot of television over the year I got wondering what to expect in the coming 12 months. Thankfully I have discovered some of the joys to look forward to:
Justin Lee Collins Extreme Pogo : The nation's loved JLC goes about the UK challenging members of the public to take "the Pogo challenge". People will be encouraged to dress up as wacky characters and can win a ticket to be in the audience of JLC's next show.
JLC meets JLS: The nation's loved Justin Lee Collins meets boyband JLS with hilarious results as he conducts a 15 part interview detailing their career and haircuts interspersed with comedic segments with the live studio audience
Climate Change: Jeremy Clarkson stars in this show where for 1 hour every week he sits in a different American muscle car and revs the engine continuously while laughing at those "liberal lefties".
Cobbler of the year: From the same team that brought you the award winning BBC3 "Butcher of the year" comes this exciting competition to establish who REALLY is the best cobbler in the UK. with various challenges from seeing who can put a heel back on a shoe the fastest and who can cut the most keys in 3 minutes, drama and high suspense is guaranteed.
Make the story: Max Clifford presents this fantastic programme with contestants aspiring to create the most believable fake story. They are then printed in the national press with the winner being the person who manages to do a "John Leslie".
The Running Man: Gameshow inspired by the movie with asylum seekers replacing convicted criminals as the participants. Pitting the contestants into a gauntlet of gladiatorial battles with the winners being given British citizenship. Can our daring combatants survive and gain the right to be brainwashed by X Factor against the likes of Buzzsaw and Dynamo? Sponsorship by the Daily Mail already secured.
Take my Journey: Dermot O'leary tours the country looking for 18-24 year olds to tell them of their "journey" to background music such as Keane, Take That and Leona Lewis. See young men break down and cry as they tell the struggle of taking a bus while knowing their kid brother has one leg and their mother died 7 years previously. Viewers are then invited to vote for the most pathetic (read: "popular and deserving"). The winner then gets a recording contract worth £1 million.
James Corden's Shite on a stick: Convinced that the public will watch anything with "renowned funny man" James Corden, ITV have commissioned a show where James will place his excrement on a stick and wave it in the faces of the live audience and various celebrity guests. There is no competition and no winners. The editors expect large sponsorship income for this project.
I truly fear what other gems of programmes we'll be afflicted with in the coming year. I just hope Facebook can create a filter allowing people to block posts containing keywords.
Happy new year people
No comments:
Post a Comment